Saturday, one week to go...
And wouldn't you know it, I had the wheels come off last night. Went to Virginia for my buddy Sean's 40th birthday, packed up plenty of juice and cleanse just so I could keep going without any issue. I drove south in an odd mood of both looking forward to seeing Sean's new home, my friends Laird and Annie, and a touch of melancholy after having a tough conversation the night before, the kind where you are left with the distinct feeling of my forehead taking the brunt of a stone walls hostilities.
So off I went, and for good measure I even put on my ipod and tried to listen to my girl Tara Brach give one of her Buddhist lessons...maybe it was a sign that I had to stop trying to listen because one of my horses had grabbed an earpiece and promptly chewed it beyond repair, thus robbing me of being able to hear well enough while driving. Damn horses. At any rate, the past week or so I had been contemplating the end game of my 30 days, and the inevitable day of eating and drinking, putting my litmus test of choice to an exam...at some point I had to see if I could simply choose to drink. And there was some part of me which thought it should come during the 30 days, while I'm still not eating solid foods. At least not eating solid foods when I'm not having a meltdown at the Superfresh. Ahem. Granted, I didn't really think it was going to be yesterday, but that is how it went. And somehow I managed to not eat at the party, but I suppose that had something to do with the fact I always seemed to have a drink in my hand. So the test is on...
It is an odd thing, this growing up business. Driving up Sean and Ann's driveway reminded me of so many things. For 15 years Sean and I drove to the races in Virginia together, first in his Chevy Cavalier when neither one of us could navigate a stick shift without a neck brace and nothing but a little cash to our name. Now, instead of heading to the races I'm driving up a driveway to a farm Sean and Ann just bought, with their one year old Miles tottering around the house. It's a funny thing to see the first best friend you ever have with a little belly, a kid on his arm. You swear it was only yesterday when you were playing street hockey til all hours of the night, but the reality of your memory reminds you just how long ago it really was...gone is the insecure little kid who could barely look you in the eye, replaced by a successful businessman, husband, and father! Do you think our parents ever experienced the bemused thoughts that come when you go from child to parent? I can only see my parents as parents, not struggling kids trying to navigate this perplexing thing we call life...